In an ever competitive age where the evolution of the digital realm continues to grow and grow, and we have access to glimpses of people’s lives from around the globe (whether that’s friends, acquaintances, celebrities, or other people we’re never likely to meet in real life), it’s all too easy to get wrapped up in a rose-tinted world of bliss and perfection, viewing failure as a giant grey gloom cloud in contrast. In other words: failure is something to be avoided at all costs.
But, that’s really not the case. Let’s take a step back… In order to be successful you need to be willing to embrace failure. That might be a little difficult to swallow, though.
It’s a natural human instinct to shy away from difficult situations and challenges, erring on the side of caution in order to avoid disappointment and, ultimately, failure. There’s even a term for the fear of failure: atychiphobia. However, it would be naïve for anyone to think you could breeze through life with a clean slate and zero hiccups.
After all, JK Rowling’s mastermind Harry Potter series was rejected by a whopping 12 different publishers before Bloomsbury stepped up to appreciate the magical franchise. The author’s thoughts pretty much expel the idea of atychiphobia:
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” – JK Rowling
So, whether you’re feeling at a loss currently or nervous about taking that next step in your career or lifestyle, here are three reasons why little failures don’t spell the end. In fact, they can actually lead you closer towards the path of success…
Every Failure Offers a Learning Experience
As cliché as it may sound, none of us would be who we are today without the mistakes we’ve made and the setbacks we’ve faced along the way. Turning failure on its head and actually seeing it as a chance to learn for the future is essential. And, there’s truth in the idea that we learn more from our failures than our successes. To paraphrase, “failure sucks, but instructs”.
This willingness to tackle failure head-on isn’t exactly a new philosophy either. Tech giants Apple, Google, Facebook, and Amazon are all renowned for making occasional failures, but the thing they do best is to take these mistakes, think carefully about what went wrong, and use their findings to illuminate future actions.
The chances are, success is going to come with a few slips and trips. Navigating the rocky path of a career or your emerging adult lifestyle can be difficult – that’s no lie. When things do go wrong, it’s the ideal opportunity to ask yourself ‘what can I change or do better next time?’.
Carol Dweck’s novel Mindset: The New Psychology of Success unravels this in greater detail. She talks about embracing a growth mindset, and how this can make you much more successful in the long run. Following a growth mindset means that you ‘thrive on challenge and see failure not as evidence of unintelligence, but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching existing abilities’. When writing about the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, she says:
“In one world, effort is a bad thing. It, like failure, means you’re not smart or talented. If you were, you wouldn’t need effort. In the other world, effort is what makes you smart or talented.”
Bottom line: seize failures as learning experiences.
Every Failure Makes You More Resilient
On a similar note, failure can actually make you more resilient as a person. If someone were to say to you that they’d never failed in life, you’d probably roll your eyes, maybe even yawn or nod along inattentively. That’s because failure is an entirely normal thing. Those unwilling to admit to their failures are, nine-times-out-of-ten, likely to have less of that tough grit and determination needed to get through the mess that life can throw at us sometimes. A nod to JM Barrie who said:
“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – JM Barrie
You’ve probably heard of the Type A and Type B personality framework: Type As are competitive and organised, whilst Type Bs are laid-back and creative. But, simply splitting everyone into two camps isn’t the best way of understanding who we are as individuals.
Mother-daughter duo Ama Marston and Stephanie Marston explore a third personality type in their book, Type R: Transformative Resilience for Thriving in a Turbulent World. They explain that people with a Type R personality are ‘skilled at using tough times as a catalyst for growth” and “accept – and even welcome – change, failure, and disruption’; they are resilient.
Failure isn’t just about bouncing back, it’s about change. Failure teaches us to pick ourselves up, reconsider, re-evaluate, hone our skills, and come back with a skip in our step. If you simply gave up after a single failure, there would be no chance to reach out and grab at success. After all:
“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
Motivating yourself to try again isn’t easy, but it will definitely prove rewarding down the line.
Every Failure Invites Self Reflection
Life’s experiences, good or bad, give us the perfect opportunity to reflect upon ourselves. Often, little failures aren’t just a clear-cut ending. If you consider your own feelings towards failure and take a closer look at why things might not have worked out, it is a chance to reassess exactly what you want.
This doesn’t mean dwelling on failure and staying awake at night thinking over alternative outcomes. Rather, it’s about framing your mindset to avoid lapsing into bad habits or negative emotions. It’s about looking internally and finding answers to these questions:
- What do I really want?
- What are my main strengths?
- What are my primary weaknesses and how can I improve upon them?
- Who are the people I cherish most in my life?
- What toxic relationships upset the balance?
Failure helps redefine your priorities in life and shapes what you value. The above five questions are at the epicentre of this. Every time you slip up, you are given the chance to reflect upon what truly matters to you.
For example, you might come to realise that that job that didn’t work out was for the best, because it had limited opportunities for training and growth. Or that your strained relationship with your boss was taking its toll on your health, and you’re much happier without that stress.
Overcoming failure lets you assess both your talents and any bad habits that might be holding you back. You have the chance to be truly honest with yourself. Failure is an opportunity to reshape what isn’t working in your life and move on for the better.
So, the next time you’re hesitant to take that leap outside your comfort zone or you’re stewing in self-doubt after a knockback, remember: failure is okay. And if you’re willing to persevere and reflect, that failure really can lead to something good. Promise.
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